Lucy’s Lorebook 02: Excerpt from college essay “On Organized Religion”

The following is an excerpt from an essay written during Lucy’s years at the Knowledge Institute. This essay was written for a Cultural Studies class taught by Lumellik Horg; Lucy was asked to summarize the major organized religions of the Hegemony…

…but enough about the druids! I turn now to the High Church of Palladius the Sun God. Phew. What a mouthful. Palladian churches are in every city and town in the Hegemony; even the meanest of border hamlets has a lean-two with a big sun painted on the side. Historian Feldspar Bugnutt suggests that the roots of Palladian worship are in the sun cults of the north coast. Certainly Palladius is a human god primarily, although not exclusively (compare to, say, Moraz the Maker of Dwarves). The Church of Palladius is led by the Council of Radiant Ones, a structure not dissimilar to the political governance of the Hegemony as a whole. The Council of Radiant Ones elect a Solarex to lead them every year, and name the High Priests for local churches and temples. Those High Priests, in turn, assign local priests and Radiant Servants. 

Frankly, I fell asleep trying to read the Book of the Sun. It’s all the same and so dull! Not like the cool cult texts of the Diabolical Ones or something. It sucks! “And lo, on the fourth day, the sun rose once more, and the corn rose too, in waves of gold, and lo the corn was good.” Yawn! Lots of agricultural mumbo-jumbo. Their work does help people, I’ll grant that. They do good prayer work to keep the crops growing, and everyone knows that if you need medical treatment, you can always camp out outside a church or temple and hope for a Radiant Servant’s blessing. But why is the high dome of the Bright Temple in Gahaladon plated in gold? Couldn’t that gold be used for better things, if the Palladians are so generous and kind? 

They are inoffensive and boring and mildly helpful. That’s pretty much all there is to say about the Church of Palladius. On to the Nameless Gods of Magic!…

INSTRUCTOR’S COMMENTS:

Lucy,

Come on. This is the third time you’ve submitted this essay. You think this is an improvement just becaues you cut the part on your “research” into the High Priest of Lone Tower? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that I don’t have to read about how you stalked the High Priest to see if he was “doing lots of drugs, with his butt.” But this still isn’t effortful! I need you to take this seriously. You will not be receiving full marks in cultural studies this summer, I assure you. 

Also, please correct your error in the first paragraph about the Palladians. His name is “Feldspar Bhagnoth.” You know this. 

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